It was a hot summer evening and mercury had just fallen as compared to the last day when I first saw her at Soorya Cineplex. I was there to watch a youth’s movie titled Rang De Basanti with two of my friends. I saw her during an interval having popcorns. As soon as I saw her she gave the packet of popcorns to her friend and stole a look at me. I just passed my hands on the already managed hairs just to feel that I was looking good. I thought that my looks at least somewhere worked. I tilted my face to about 20 degrees and softly winked at her (in a descent manner) after she laughed and walked into the theatre giving a look at me. What should I say about her? I felt as if the world was down on my knees. As if all fairy tales were zero in front of her. Her cheeks were better than the colour of a licking vanilla ice-cream. Her bottomless eyes carried the world in itself. She wore a nice band on her right hand on which a name was embedded in whitish-silver stones-“SHANIA”. That was the very moment when I guessed her name. Ya, I was describing you her looks. God! They were just marvelous. She wore a black tantra t-shit and Levi’s cargos. These kinds of t-shirts were common for attitude ones in town. At that time they were new in fashion so everybody wanted to be in style. She reassuringly was a tom boy types and knocked my heart in her first look.

You can call it to be ‘love at first sight’.

After the second half of the movie I walked to her in a hope to talk. As I walked half way the distance between us my knees started becoming weak and I was completely shivering in summers. Actually it was not my type of routine to flirt around with the girls walking on the road. I really wasn’t good at it. I thought to cancel the plan of talking to her but my so called close friends did not let me to do so. As I was walking step by step my heart was sinking in fear –‘what if she says no even for friendship or what if she started shouting at me?’

I collected huge amount of confidence and made my fullest efforts. She was there in the lobby and I was just 1 step away and even she knew that I was coming up to her so she tried to ignore. Actually it’s very easy for an attitude filled girls to ignore boys. Hope I could in script on my forehead that ‘I’m not a flirt’.

Finally I reached to her and brought my hands for a hand shake to her waist height & murmured

‘May I have the pleasure to have friendship with you?’

‘Excuse me, are you talking to me?’-an attitude statement came from her side

Before I could say anything she started laughing with her friends. ‘God I felt so embarrassed.’

I asked again in a better voice

‘May I have the pleasure to have friendship with you?’

She seemed a bit confused, her eye ball enlarged but when she consulted from her friends through her eyes, a positive feedback was observed.

‘Ok I don’t mind’-she said but never she shake hands.

Though I knew her name but still to hear her splendid voice I asked what her name was.

‘Shania, Shania Thakkar’- she said in a bold American accent as if she was a bond 007- ‘Bond, James Bond’ huh!

Why it is that everyone wants his/her name to be pronounced the best? Anyways I didn’t waste much time thinking that in my mind and said ‘well you didn’t ask me but then also, my name is pranav malhotra.’ I said this in a low pitched voice in order to show simplicity.

 I took an about turn and after walking a step I felt ‘from where I’d be able to contact her’

Hell, when I turned back again to 180 degrees I saw her catching the lift with her friends. I thought she’d give a look at me but never had she turned back. I hurriedly rushed to the ground floor in a hope to catch her there. It was my good luck that I reached before she could walk away.

With cell phone in my hands to note down her number I asked “may I have your contact number” after she was discovered coming out from the lift.

The cell phone was gifted to me by my aunt. It was a touch screen Motorola phone and she got it from America after I cleared 10^th Board examination with 83%. Well it always kept a nice impression on the strangers because of its great sound.

“98********”- she said in a confusing voice as if she wanted to gulp the whole thing and I hurriedly noted the number. I doubted if the number was correct. Just to check I gave a missed call and saw her cell phone ringing.

 ‘Thank you girl’-I replied

Its ok – she said and left from the place to catch an auto rickshaw. I wished she could stay for a bit long so that I could get enough time talking to her.

But now that I had her number I contacted her.

Days in and days out, and we both kept ourselves busy with messaging. We both were messaging savvy. Probably she came to know everything about my past, family, my likes and dislikes just in a month.

In around few months I felt that she started liking me like anything. I could impress anyone so it wasn’t new to me. In my past I received several proposals but I preferred to reject them as I wanted to concentrate on my studies. But after some time I felt lonely from inside and wanted a companion to share my feelings. To impress anyone through messaging was in my blood.

On 12^th of May she proposed to me. ‘Was I so good at impressing cute girls?’- I questioned myself.

I liked that girl since I had seen her but the difference was that afterwards I liked her nature also. Though her nature was unpredictable but it seemed that she was clean by heart. Well till the time I knew her I could not guess that what her next step would be? I thought that I could spend my life with her and wanted a life long relationship. After thinking a lot I said “Yes, I’m interested in spending my life with you” and that was the first time I felt so happy; at last I made a girlfriend and that to so sexy. I felt that , then I’d not be embarrassed in going out with friends because everyone in my group was paired.

In my opinion the best outfit a girl could wear is a suit. Suits were always an attraction for me. All other guys wanted to gaze at girl’s mini skirts for their beautiful long legs, short tops where they show their pierced tummies but I was somewhat different. I believed in simplicity. When I told Shania about it, she was stunned. She was the girl who never wore any suit but the next day she bought one for me.

One day I received a call from her saying that she was wearing a suit which she got stitched last week and was looking so good that even her neighbors complimented. That day I felt that someone cares for me also and her call gave me mental satisfaction.

  Everything in life seemed so simple. It was so simple to enter into a relationship but very much difficult to execute it with patience. After entering into the relationship I often observed some changes in her but they were acceptable changes. Since childhood I was having huge patience and I always subsidized myself in front of her even though she was wrong at times. Whenever we used to have fight over issues I became the first one to say sorry and clear up the mess in our relationship. I never wanted situation to give a chance to have fight between us because never I wanted to miss an opportunity. I every time thought that life give several opportunities and I was the one among those who never misses them. You can call it my patience or my love or whatever but  I was happy in that. I could not guess whether she was happy or not but I made efforts at every step to make her happy.

I rarely dated her because of her family problems. Sometimes it also pinched because the time I wanted her in front of me, she wasn’t there to attend.

Days, weeks, months… and in every month I found my patience escalating. Actually due to a huge fight between us we were not in contact for two months. Her nature started degrading but I never wanted her to know. She started over reacting in situations and often became very arrogant in issues.

 There were certainly many disagreements and whenever I wanted to ask her to clear up, the answer would be “I really don’t feel like discussing this!!!”

 Was it so easy for her to ignore my sayings? I guessed not but became hard to accept the truth. This all was in continuation for months.

I always felt that it could be my false observation or maybe I was taking her for granted. I really didn’t know…

It was never that I gave her a chance to fight or even say sorry. I never believed in saying sorry but I was the one who always used to say it. Opportunity you know…sometimes this word aggravated me but still that much patience was left to resist it.

In my affair, I never let the grass grew under my feet. After around 1 year I realized that she was drowning and drowning into the sea and I was taking off from the ground. The gap between us was stretching like anything. This gap was the gap between our thinking, the gap between our emotions, the gap between us and it was impossible to blame anyone for that. For her I was responsible and for me she; but I never wanted her to know.

On a winter evening I was in a gloomy mood because of the fight I had with my sister on a pen. Out of the blue I received a call from her on Wednesday. On Wednesdays she never used to call because her dad was at home on a leave. I picked it up and she was quite. After being asked what was happened to her, she didn’t replied. I became quite suspicious of her silence but wanted her to start. In a choking voice she said” look I really can’t continue the relationship because things are getting on my head so please forget me.” She never gave me an authority to ask the reason for breaking up and hanged the call.

I always formed a cocoon to her, protecting her all the way but she wanted to live in her own world.

The next call I made was to her best friend ‘Samara” (nice name-but that moment it didn’t impressed me much). Samara is a sweet cute girl and she even proposed to me just in three days after we started talking on the internet and shared every part of our lives. The best part that I liked in her was that she liked me not my looks. She proposed to me even before she had seen me. I was sorry to refuse such a wonderful girl because I considered myself happy in that unavoidable guilt. She only said that she’d waiting for me throughout her life and on the other side helped me patching up with Shania.

I enquired the correct reason for break up  and ‘restrictions’ was the answer I got from Shania‘ s side.

It was really unacceptable to me to receive such a weird answer. I made a flash back and was remembering at least one restriction which made her feel curbed. I remember that before putting any restriction I always took her permission and that restriction turned respect for me.

After indulging a lot into it for hours and days things started becoming clear and clear. I was under the clouds making a predisposition in my mind that she could never be wrong. Stormy winds started blowing in my deserted mind and made a heap of anger when I discovered that she wasn’t interested anymore in me as she already accepted the proposal of ‘Armaan’- A guy who stayed in her colony and was after her since months. In a day I collected information about him through my contacts and concluded that he’s was playboy and he already flunked in his class. I knew that the person isn’t a right choice for the girl.

I just felt bad for the false commitments she made for staying with me for life. It didn’t bothered me any way that she liked anyone one else. It’s a human nature that we only like the person to whom we want to extract something. Maybe she extracted all the things which I could provide but in my opinion I was a fruitful tree when watered with love will provide sweet fruits.

I just wanted to talk to her once just to hear  her voice and know that what was missing in me. But this time I’d not call her having a splendid voice because she’s not the female I was in love with. She might not be changed by looks but she was changed for me.

I tried calling her many times but never she attended my call even once. Just for the sake of talking to her I threatened her, begged in front of her and even busted on her for her false claims via messages but still no response from her side.

“Hello, can you please take out five minutes for me, please I wanted to talk something very important”- I said after she attended my call after days.

“What? Ok tell fast”- she said in an ignoring voice and made an excuse that she was in front of her mom.

“I wanted to know the reason, just one genuine reason and I’ll never disturb you.”-I said

“Listen I’m not interested In you anymore and I like someone else, so it’s better that you forget me and ya now I’m not a suit girl anymore.”

“Girl you’re inviting your bad luck”- I said and hanged the call.